It seems that I can't get rid of this reoccurring thrush/yeast problem. I'm using that stuff that makes everything purple again. I'm trying to cut out on all sugars and I'm limiting carbs. I hope it works. I got another cracked nipple. It's not as bad as last time. But it still hurts. My baby cut a tooth a few days ago. He's been miserable. I got these teething tablets at the store. I couldn't find any tooth numbing stuff for babies. I'm not sure if the tablets help. They at least make me feel like I'm doing something. Poor little guy.
Other than that, life goes on. I'm trying to take the thrush out and it seems that I am losing weight from cutting out sugars and carbs. But it's not a huge amount. And at least I'm not feeling dizzy like I was before. So, that's it I guess. I hope everyone is having a great day!
So tomorrow my son will be officially 6 months old. I feel it's close enough to call it. The time has gone by so quickly. I never had a very small baby in the first place, but I do miss his smallerness. He's in clothes for 12 to 18 month olds. It's been such an interesting experience the whole parenthood thing. My little one is such a sweetheart. He gives me hope for future babies. I was always depressed about the idea of bringing life into this sad world. But now I see the joy that a child can bring.
He can sit up pretty well on his own now, and he is so close to crawling. He goes backwards at the moment. But I'm sure it will click soon. He has the sweetest laughter. I never knew that I liked babies. Now I am excited about the possibility of more.
I have been taking pregnancy tests regularly just in case. And as usual today, it was negative. Breastfeeding has kept my fertility away so far. And I think it's pretty neat. I wonder how much longer before my cycle returns or I get pregnant again. I hear that 14 months or more is pretty normal with the type of intensive breastfeeding I am doing. Honestly, I would be excited if hubby and I were expecting again. I pray that God would change my attitude about pregnancy itself though. I don't want to be a grump next time. I would like to have that enjoyment of pregnancy I hear so much about.
I think I have the lightheadedness under control now. As long as my weight is at least 126.5 pounds I feel well enough to exercise. It is pretty easy these days to let my weight dip below 125. I have to eat so much. But if I want to exercise then that's just what I have to do. Maybe it will get easier with time.
It's hard some days getting used to all the changes in my body. I don't know yet how many changes are permanent and how many could go away with time. My belly is still wiggly. But on the bright side, it's not huge. It feels huge and looks huge to me. But it's not huge even if this was the belly of a woman who did not have a baby. I wonder how long it will be for the skin to finish tightening up if it ever will. The massive amount of stretch marks are fading just a little. They are still pretty pink. But I tend to take longer to heal then most others. I tend to scar easily too. I don't think I will look awful in a two piece bathing suit. But I definitely have the marks of motherhood one me. I don't like to think of them as battle scars. But rather, marks of AWESOMENESS. Because I am awesome. And I birthed an awesome baby. Even though my experience with my midwife was crap, that doesn't take away from how neato my body is.
I am in awe of the female body. How it can grow, birth and feed a baby. I have a whole other person who has grown entirely from me. Now that he is starting on some solids, it feels almost like the bird leaving the nest somewhat. It's sad and so cool at the same time. My son's middle name means beloved.
These days, I am working on improving my fitness when I can. I can handle a lot more than I could a few months ago. I am trying to eat a healthy diet too. I think of myself in a pre-conception period. If I think of it that way then I will be more concious of my own health. I have gone six months breastfeeding without the use of any formula. And I have a cute chunky baby and the absence of aunt flo to show for it. Kinda neat.
So tomorrow is the official 6 month mark for my son. It's kind of awesome. Yesterday we let him taste solids for the first time. I figured that two days isn't that big of a deal since he has been crying for food when he sees me eat. I'm not sure exactly how we will go about feeding him. I figure that foods before one are for fun. He tasted apple yesterday. I let him gnaw on a slice. But then after a minute of making an excited confused face, he wanted to nurse. Today he got to gnaw on a slice of orange. He LIKES orange. There was marked excitement. I know all about that whole only introduce one thing at a time idea. But I like the idea of letting him taste things that we are eating so that he gets used to what we have. I'm not sure that the tongue thrust reflex is gone yet, and I don't want to force him on solids if he isn't ready. But I figure that a taste here and there is nice. He also learns the texture of different foods too.
I do not want him to eat off of my plate or utensils though. I have periodontist and require deep cleanings to my teeth. I don't want to risk getting my dental germs in his mouth. So I think that will be the more difficult part of solids.
I find it funny that many of the baby foods out there are referred to as solids, as they are the runniest mush I have ever seen. I'm not entirely sure that I should make sure he eats if I have to make the food the same consistency as breast milk. But I think it's good to expose him to tastes and textures.
All in all, I think that the start of solid foods is fun. I'm excited for the new experiences my child is having.
So my son will be 6 months soon. I can't believe how fast the time has gone. I have had hard days and easy days. But parenthood isn't at all what I thought it would be. First off, I get a lot more sleep than I was led to believe I would have. My son loves me and doesn't see my flaws. He doesn't understand the concept that his parents might not be perfect. His smile is lovely. His diapers less so. I was unsure about the whole becoming a parent thing. But now I understand why people have babies on purpose. Because my son is awesome.
I wonder when we will have a second child, and how different that will be. I wonder when my fertility will return. I wouldn't mind a little more time for just my first one though. But I do hope to have a second one by the time my son is two. I think it's good for children to have siblings. Even if they are not friends, it is an opportunity to learn.
I love not having my period. It's so great not menstruating. Breastfeeding on demand can wear you down sometimes, but at least I don't also have to be on my period too. I wonder how long it will take before I have my cycle. I don't exactly want to see aunt flow anytime soon. I guess that the way I breastfeed correlates closer to ecological breastfeeding. And they go an average of 14.6 months without a period. That sounds pretty good. Except if I could skip the period thing alltogether and then get prego with the second baby. A lot of women breastfeeding in general get their cycles at around the 6 month mark. That seems too soon. The time flies by so fast. I enjoy not needing a pad. I would much rather have occasional leaky boobs every day than bleed 8 or 9 days for a cycle more like my norm.
Baby care gives me something to do all the time. I do miss the video game time I used to have. But at least I am kept busy. I don't like doing nothing all day. At least, not every day.
I look forward to the day when we have the second child. I do not look forward to pregnancy itself. I hope that my attitude will change about that. But I look forward to labor and childbirth. And I look forward to those early days with baby. These days do go so fast. It's like a whirlwind. You go for that looooong last month of pregnancy wondering if it will EVER come to an end. I was convinced that I would be the first woman pregnant FOREVER. But then baby comes and is out. And the time just flashes by. My son is rolling over and trying to crawl. He loves grabbing things. Soon he will get to try other food. I can't believe just how fast it has been. I know my baby wasn't exactly little. But I do miss his littleness. I miss the early days. But my little one is on the cusp of crawling. And that is so neat to watch. Nobody can exactly teach him to crawl. He is learning by trial and error.
Whatever size my family ends up, it will be interesting.
This Sunday we finally made it out to our church. It's an hour long drive to get there. Having a baby makes it a little more tricky to get out. We were late, as my little one wanted a feed right as we were heading out. Trying to get him to feed sooner doesn't actually work. he won't eat if he's not hungry.
I have been tiered. But eating more seems to help. Sometimes it's a bit of a challenge. I'm just glad that breastfeeding is going so well, even though it can be a little tiring. It is worth it. My hubby holds up the baby and says "he loves you!" And I say "he loves boob? What?"
Hubby and I met a family who had 6 children. They were very sweet. Their oldest was 18 and their youngest 4. I taught the girls how to do a rope braid. I missed braiding hair. I will grow my mop back out. I miss my long hair. It was so nice to see a larger family. Life goes on at a slow steady pace. not much else is going on.